Monday, March 31, 2008

Duty to The Fans...

So, I hope you all are satisfied.  My wife has begun using you all as an excuse to feed me vegetables instead of reasonable, healthy food like Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Today, I was given a salad for lunch, and when I complained she said "It's my duty to your fans to make sure you live a long and healthy life."  Honestly.  The things I suffer for you people.

I actually don't mind salads when they're produced properly.  Properly meaning with iceberg lettuce used as a vehicle for getting dressing, croutons, and bacon into my mouth.  But these 'salads' that Pemberly makes barely have any lettuce in them at all!  They've got all this colorful junk like carrots and peppers and broccoli.  Really, who puts broccoli in a salad?  It's bad enough when you have to eat that stuff cooked.  (As a good friend of mine often says in reference to salads: "That's not food, that's what food eats.")  And, the lettuce in these salads of hers is rather suspect.  It's not a good, nutrient-free iceberg at all, but some sort of weed or something. 

(Note: I'm mostly being facetious here.  I do like her salads; they're just not the sort of food I'd make myself.  You should know that when Pemberly and I went to register for our wedding gifts at Target, I did take the little scanner thing and register for two objects for me.  An XBox and a pack of Kraft Mac and Cheese.  Never did get that XBox, but I got like thirty boxes of mac.  Opening our wedding gifts was rather amusing, as often they'd have a box of Kraft tied to them in some way.)

I'll stop whining now and will try to post some kind of useful update tomorrow....

6 Comments:

Blogger Inverted Frog said...

Lol, kudos to Pemberly!

1:07 AM  
Anonymous Jeremy said...

My mom and step-dad were health food nuts. She made some horrible tasting salads when we were younger. No iceberg, lots of spinach, tons of "colorful" vegetables, and worst of all topped with bean sprouts. Then she'd stuff it in a pita pocket and make me take it to school for lunch. Not kidding - you can't even trade that crap.

All the health food mattered not - my step-dad died of cancer at 51, and my mom had 2 bouts with cancer. Now she just eats what she wants.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Liam J. said...

Broccoli is good with creamy caesar dressing or italian. It gets caught in the afro at the top. Yum.

12:15 PM  
Blogger BirdGirl said...

I hear you with the mac and cheese, it's one of my favorite foods. I have it at least once a week, which drives my mother crazy. Though I am also a big fan of salads with all kinds of crazy stuff in them. I'm the one that gets my parents to buy stuff other then iceburg lettuce.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Q said...

Good for her!

7:54 PM  
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2:14 AM  

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