Friday, July 17, 2009

Fake Kings

I thought I'd finally get around to posting these.  If you missed what happened, I solicited a round of 140 character fake reviews for The Way of Kings via Twitter and my LJ.  You guys proved quite clever, giving us around 200 responses to chuckle at.  In fact, there were so many good ones that we had real trouble over here picking our favorites.  So, I just decided to post a few here as a taste, then post the majority of them up on a page on my website.  I probably missed a few, and if I missed yours, I'm sorry.  (Note that there are a couple that are in bad taste, but still funny.  I pulled the worst ones, mostly those that referenced the recently deceased, no offense intended to those who posted them.  And notice that the Wheel of Time itself sent me a tweet.  Nice of it, eh?)

Anyway, here are a couple of my and Peter's favorites--but these certainly aren't all of them---with my snarky comments added in parenthesis.

jeremy208: #FakeKings Wow, the world's first fantasy novel written in 3-D!. The words literally jump off the page. The fight scenes gave me bruises. Ow!  (Clever!  We'll have to patent this idea.)

rocketroadtrip: #FakeKings A great read and more. It anchors ships, ballasts balloons, & is the principle building block of the Great Pyramid of Giza.

chrisoubre: Completely unexpectedly @BrandonSandrson's The Way of Kings portrays an evil Ruler who turns out to be not so evil after all. #FakeKings  (Hey!  I've only done that twice.  In my defense, Wyrn really is a total jerk.)

dragonmount: #FakeKings The Way of Kings cured my cancer. And then it killed Asmodean. --Jennifer (I thought Scalzi did that.)

RajivMote: Way of Kings boldly revitalizes the moribund "Scarecrow & Mrs. King" franchise, but at the cost of established continuity. #FakeKings (Ah, but any continuity is worth that.)

brady32: Way of the Kings felt familiar but couldn't place why. The final duel between Perry Hatter and Arch-Duke Holdemort rocked though. #FakeKIngs (Don't forget Snipe, the evil professor of elixir-making and boy scout hunting..)

GuySrinivasan: Anyone else notice that *exactly* every third chapter of WoK passes the Bechdel Test? There's such a thing as trying too hard. #FakeKings  (Actually, by coincidence, chapter three DOES pass the test.  So do chapters five and seven.  Wow.  Pretty good there, Guy.)

dragonmount: The sexy teenage vampires in WAY OF KINGS are sooo hot. -JD #fakekings  (Thanks Jason.  Now I'm writing Vampire romances.  Let me go shoot myself now.)

protonone: Sanderson has crafted a tale so engrossing that you cannot help but to devour it! *Tor does not endorse eating this product #fakekings (Yes they do.  You're welcome to eat my books, so long as you buy more to replace them.)

Daergar: #fakekings I really appreciated the free airline tickets to England included with Way of Kings. Brandon Sanderson was a great butler, too  (Er.  I signed that promotion contract before reading it.  Really need to have a word with my agent.)

zemaille: #fakekings Upon hearing the final draft reached 381k, Brandon's editor Moshe threatened to split HIM in three volumes. (This might be my favorite of all.)

C_Satterfield: Interestingly enough, if you read Way of Kings backward, you'll find that it contains its own sequel! #FakeKings (Nah, that's just how you discover the manga version.)

hanky_gobbler: WOK was not as long as some other books, but longer than others. One thing's for sure: it's a book you can read. #FakeKings (Lol.  It also has lots of letters in it, arranged into words, some of which make sense.  There are characters who struggled to achieve things, and sometimes fail to do so.)

BeachyWan: WoK was so explosive I couldn't get my copy past security at the airport. #fakekings (So big and thick, if you put it in your backpack, it counts as a concealed weapon in six states.)

RobertAvi: I loved Way of Kings so much I cried, and then my tears cried. I collected those in a bottle and got 3 wishes from a genie #fakekings (One of which was for the sequel, right?)

Daraxyl: After finishing WoK, I finally understand why Brandon wrote "Sorry." when he autographed my book. #fakekings (Yeah, sorry about putting you into the book as the flatulent anthropomorphic hippo.  It just...well, it was too good a plot device to pass up.)

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